A year ago, I put on my sister, Bobbie’s, gi and took my first Brazilian Jiu Jitsu class at High Altitude Martial Arts with Professor Cody Donovan, who happens to own the gym and is my husband (together for almost eleven years and married for seven years).
I finally took the plunge, on the surface because I was forced to after losing a fantasy football bet, but deep (way deep) down I wanted to. Warm ups were what I dreaded the most and from what I have gathered, many still dread it at all belt levels. I was absolutely terrified and self conscious about how dumb I would look. In reality, it wasn’t like that at all. Everyone was either just as terrified, proud of the terrified, or too busy to even notice the terrified.
Today I am the proud owner of a 2 stripe white belt (no judging…I took time off for Hawaii, colds/flus for my kids and myself, Covid-19, more vacations, and more sickness). I must note that I am perfectly content being a 2 stripe white belt. The new territory of rolling live after this stripe sends me straight back to the terrified zone.
This is an open letter from me…a girl mom, a wife of a martial arts academy owner, the Director of Community Engagement of said academy (internal/external events planner, retail coordinator, social media runner, website content creator, blog/email writer, front desk worker), General Manager of Donnybrook LLC (managing all aspects of the Donnybrook’s 3 businesses and life), a multi-level marketing jewelry hustler, and an aspiring real estate agent trying to hold it all together in this crazy, chaotic world.
What do I like about BJJ?
- Physical challenge
- Coordination, balance, flexibility, strength, breathing.
- Mental challenge
- Legs here, hips there, head like this. Arms, I have those too, what do I do with those? Remember what we did 3 weeks ago? Well go ahead and add that on to the end of this. Seriously? I can’t even remember what I did yesterday. Now throw the physical stuff in there and it’s one giant puzzle.
- Great work out
- Your core is engaged with every part of your body, every muscle is working, your cardio and stamina improves.
- Entertainment
- It’s fun…really fun. I’m always smiling and I laugh…a lot…at myself. In fact, it’s so much fun that I have put BJJ before margaritas and dinner with family, say what?! I have woken up at 7am (early for a semi stay at home mom with two young kids where consecutive sleep is a privilege). I get sad when I can’t train and that my friends, is called addiction. I finally understand the meaning of the saying, “obsessed is a word the lazy use to describe the dedicated.”
- Self defense
- Can we talk about how empowering it is to know you can defend yourself, should that situation arise? Everyone should know how to defend a choke or how to subdue your attacker for a few moments to give yourself a chance to run. Every man, woman, and child should be armed with such knowledge. We teach how not to be the bully and what to do if you are bullied.
- Culture
- You become part of a really cool club. The culture of BJJ is special. The culture at High Altitude Martial Arts is magical. You’re not just a member here. Not just a student. You are family, my family. Sick? I’ll drop off a gift basket. I’ll start a meal train. I’ll send flowers. If we haven’t seen you in awhile, I’ll shoot you a quick text to make sure you are ok. In turn, they make sure my family is ok. Bake us cookies and cook us meals. I mourn your loss and share your joy as you do mine.
- Training Partners
- You create friendships that thrive on beating each other up…can’t get much closer than that. When I called my girls at the gym “friends”, Cody said, “they aren’t your friends, they are your training partners” which carry a whole new level of cool.
- Feeling Proud
- Making Cody and Bobbie proud of me. Proud to show my girls that their mom is a bad ass in training. Proud of myself for overcoming my fears. Proud of myself when I learn something. Proud of myself when I get that choke tight or get a tap from an arm bar. Proud of the students when they get promoted. Proud of the students when they compete. Proud to be a part of this gym.
I love when students (and parents) share stories of how much they have grown, changed, and learned with us. My role at the gym encompasses both leading new people to the gym and celebrating the ones we already have. It doesn’t feel like a job to me, I just talk about how amazing kickboxing, BJJ, and High Altitude Martial Arts are and the rest just comes naturally. We organically grow because we are the oasis, the HAMA Social Club.
The world around us is on fire (literally, many places are on fire). Covid-19 has us at it’s mercy. I have a preschooler whose school is now remote. We, like many other parents, once tried to limit screen time and now that is how they must learn and visit with loved ones. She knows all about Coronavirus and thinks everything/everyone has germs. She is growing up in a world where the lack of human touch is normal. It’s a sad, sad world.
Anxiety is on high now a days. I don’t know how the students will handle another round of shut downs. I worry about those who feel alone, who are alone, who think they are alone. I worry “non essentials” will not be able to pay their bills. I worry we won’t be able to pay our employees so they can pay their bills.
We are living in a world where everyone NEEDS an outlet. We need human interaction, we need to maintain our physical and mental health. Our kids need a place to be engaged and learn social skills while expending some energy.
Luckily, Cody has created a martial arts academy where all kinds of people call home. The world would be a much darker place without HAMA. This is a safe place. When you enter our doors, you leave the bullshit of the world behind and you get to work on you. Self care is extremely important and sadly it’s last on people’s list. When you bow off the mat and walk out our doors you are a better version of yourself.
